:(

(Source: skinnytoskeleton, via felislowlydisappearing)

• Voice: Go kill yourself
• Voice: Stop eating pig
• Voice: Go cut yourself
• Voice: Your a piece of shit
• Voice: Try fucking harder next time
• Voice: Starve yourself fucking ballon
• Voice: Go throw up, fucking idiot eating like that
• Voice: YOU'RE A PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT! NO ONE LOVES YOU! NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU! YOU ARE A FUCKING LONELY LITTLE WASTE OF SPACE!
• Voice: You look so fat today
• Voice: They're lying, you actually look ugly
• Me: STOP! SHUT THE HELL UP! STOP STOP STOP STOP!

Anonymous asked: WOW @ tumblrdatinggame(.)com WTF is this.. my little brother's roommate is on this and I think I saw you too lol

I know! I’m apparently on there even though I don’t want to be on that site! I have no idea what this is.

I don’t understand!

I have a WONDERFUL part time job and a lovely boss who had told me that I would get more shifts at the store, BUT, she has hired someone else to fill in the shifts she told ME I could take! WTF!

This upsets me so much because I feel like she is pushing me away, it’s like she has NO faith in me anymore, ‘I’ll have you in mind’ she says when I tell her to PLEASE PLEASE let me work more because I literally have NOTHING else to do and I feel like I’m dying being so much alone and with all that’s going on with my grandma:( She told me that maybe in July I can get some shifts during the week. Because of my sick body she feels she can’t count on me anymore and that hurts like hell. I want to be dependable, I want to be at my job because that’s the only place that I actually feel good about myself and feel whole and I don’t care if I’m in pain, I would rather be in pain there and be around people than to be in pain all by myself unable to think about anything else and feeling scared, lonely and more and more feeling like I don’t have any purpose in this world. I feel so useless when I don’t have anything to do outside of home and I’ve gotten to the point that I’m scared of going out to other places or find something to do. There are things that I want to do or try, but now I don’t see the point, I just don’t:( 

I’m losing hope… 

My heart is breaking and I hurt so much, I’m losing my rock, the one person I’ve always been able to count on from the time I was born. She moving into a nursing home on Tuesday, on an Alzheimer’s ward:,(
I can’t talk to her about anything anymore, thankfully she still knows who I am, although sometimes I wonder if she’s just pretending to know who I am when we talk on the phone…

One thing did make me a bit happy this morning for a few minutes when I stepped on the scale and saw a number that I haven’t seen in at least 3 years! 69 kilos:) or 151.8lbs, only 1 more kilo and I’m out of the 150’s in lbs!:-D
Well if I don’t have anything to do this summer, I may as well just do anything to keep losing weight. 

I’m in so much pain and I feel so sick right now and I have absolutely NOBODY to call and that’s scary:(

My ENTIRE mouth hurts inside and out and my tongue hurts a lot and my lower lip hurts too. Also my throat hurts and it feels weird to breathe:(

I need to see a doctor tomorrow, I can’t last like this much longer. Eating hurts like  HELL! Every time I put something, anything in my mouth it’s like I’m being stabbed or burnt and I’m seriously starting to think and feel like I’m being punished for something…

I don’t know what to do:( 

My weight was 69.5 kilos this morning!

I’ve got a problem, I’ve got such bad sores in my upper inside gum that I literally CAN’T eat at all, even drinking hurts like hell:(
All I’ve had today is a shake made with sugarfree ice cream and chocolate and strawberry sauce and it was thinned out with water, that was something new as most ice cream stores use milk to mix with the ice cream.

It took me 5 hours to finish it at work, sometimes it was ok to suck the straw and other times I wanted to cry because it hurt so badly:( 

I tried to drink as much as I could when I could but it was hard, but during those 5 hours I was able to drink almost 1 liter of water.

I feel extremely strange in my head/face. It scares me that the right side of the gum is full of shallow HOLES! The left side is ok, thank God! It hurts to talk too and I have to sing at AIDS mass tomorrow with my choir. I don’t know if I can sing but I’m going to go and give my support for the cause. I am bummed out that I won’t be able to eat tea at the community center with my choir, there will be amazing and delicious cakes and other foods that I was going to allow myself to eat because of the occasion and because I’m with my choir and I don’t want to raise suspicions or questions…

I’m weak and fuzzy in the head, but I feel no hunger which in my mindset is a fantastic thing:/

I don’t know how to deal with this gums situation

ED: Oh well… as long as you’re losing weight then everything will be fine
ME: SHUT THE FUCK UP ED!! YOU’RE such a CREEP! I could be in bad conditon and you say since I seem to be loosing weight then I’m fine, just fucked up in your head ED!                                                                                                    

I’m in so much pain now that I could barely drink the water to take my pain meds:( I’m really scared! 

• Getting asks isn’t a regular thing, I still smile when I see Messages (1).
• People don’t reblog me ASAP. Sure, I get reblogged 20 or 30 notes, if I’m lucky.
• I don’t get asked for pictures of me.
• People don’t ask me for requests.
• I don’t have alot to offer.
• most of my blog is 99.9% reblogs
  
• i LOVE every little follower of mine 

(Source: gurardway, via felislowlydisappearing)

• Pro ana girl: Oh my god I'm so motivated now I'm fasting yay!
• Eating disordered girl: I have no motivation to eat anymore.